Daily Archives: June 1, 2012

Bank holiday reading


When Malcolm is finally delivered to the crematorium, his shelves will be replete with off-the-press complete sets of good teccies and similars: currently (and alphabetically) Colin Bateman, Michael Connelly, Robert Crais, Alan Furst, Carl Hiaasen, Philip Kerr, Donna Leon, Henning Mankell, Ian Rankin, Martin Cruz Smith …  just some of the regular annual upgrades.

You are fully entitled to notice that Sue Grafton (round about M is for Malice) and Janet Evanovich (similarly, near the dozen mark) seem to have slipped off the standing order forms.

The half-dozen of Malcolm Pryce‘s Louie Knight sequence is safely shelved there. So is the oeuvre of Jasper fforde (next one due in July).  The Pert Young Piece and Malcolm have high hopes of Ben Aaronovitch (Whispers Under Ground on long-standing order, and overdue).

Which brings us to the distinctive Faber volumes of Andrew Martin’s Jim Stringer series.

Amazon delivered the latest of which this very morning.

It was a decade back, when naïf Jim, sometime boy porter at Baytown (a.k.a. Robin Hood’s Bay), first arrived on the scene:

We came into Platform One at King’s Cross, which was as I had expected, but what I had not expected was that half of London would be there, and most of them attempting to force me into the Ladies’ Waiting Room, where I had no right nor any desire to be.

When I finally struggled free, the first thing I saw was the road packed with darting waggons, then, over the road from King’s Cross, and three times the size, St Pancras. I could not believe there had ever been so many bricks in the world – it must have had more than the Eskdale viaduct and I knew for a fact there were more than five million in that. The clock said five to three; I turned back and looked at the clock on King’s Cross, and that said five after, and I thought: now, that is strange, because it was impossible to imagine either the Midland or the Great Northern making a bloomer over the time, of all things, but one of them must have, and it seemed that I was only getting in everybody’s way by standing there and fretting over it.

Jim was on his way to Nine Elms Locomotive Shed to start work as an engine cleaner:

It took me one day to realise that the quickest way from Waterloo to Nine Elms Locomotive Shed was along the river. On that first morning, however, I attempted to walk there through ordinary streets, following the viaducts whenever I thought I might not be going right, but this proved no simple matter since they were tangled up with the buildings. The dismal streets were full of dark warehouses instead of ordinary houses, and full of men and their horses and waggons bringing things into Waterloo or taking them away and making a great din about it, and what with the noise, the strangeness of the streets and my fearfulness of being late, I was in a very fretful condition when I finally came upon the main gates of Nine Elms.

It was Monday 16 November 1903, bang on seven o’clock, and I could’ve done with some cocoa inside me. I walked past a pub called the Turnstile, ever closer to those golden gates, although they were far from golden, of course.

By the second book, The Blackpool Highflyer, it’s Whit Sunday of 1905 and Jim has risen to fireman on the Lancashire and Yorkshire. Hind’s Mill at Halifax are off on a seaside excursion to Blackpool (as above):

My driver, Clive Carter, was standing on the platform below. Further below than usual, for the engine that had been waiting for us at the shed that morning was, by some miracle or mistake, one of Mr Aspinall’s famous Highflyers, number 1418. These were the very latest of the monsters, and I hadn’t reckoned on having one under me for another ten years at least.

‘Now don’t break it,’ John Ellerton, shed super, had said to Clive and me that morning as he’d walked us over to it at six, with the sweat already fairly streaming off us.

Atlantic class, the Highflyers were: 58 1/4 tons, high boiler, high wheel rims on account of 7-foot driving wheels, and high everything, including speed. It was said they’d topped a hundred many a time, though never yet on a recorded run. They were painted black, like any Lanky engine, so it was a hard job to make them shine, but you never saw one not gleaming. The Lanky cleaners got half a crown for three tank engines, but it was three bob for an Atlantic, and that morning Clive had given the lad an extra sixpence for a hexagon pattern on the buffer plates.

Eighteen months later, historically but annually on the publication schedule, and it’s The Lost Luggage Porter and Jim’s first day as a railway detective at York Station. The next two outings are Murder at Deviation Junction and Death on a Branch Line, both set in North Yorkshire. That has brought us to the summer of 1911.

Number six in the sequence is The Last Train to Scarborough. 1914: Detective Sergeant Jim Stringer is being pressed by his ambitious, lefty-but-upwardly-mobile suffragette wife to leave the railway and take a nice job as a solicitor’s clerk, and Jim doesn’t get on too well with his Chief Inspector. Instead Stringer is sent, disguised as a fireman, to find out why an engine driver went missing from a Scarborough guest house.

Inevitably, it’s war-time. Stringer signs up for the Railway Pals, the North Eastern Railway Battalion, and — amid the midst of the mud-and-blood of the Somme — Stringer is pulled out of the trenches to operate a small-gauge munitions train, just behind the Front Line. The twist in The Somme Stations is that Stringer is arrested as the murderer, that the story starts in medias res as badly-wounded Stringer lies in an Ilkley nursing home. By the end, things are looking up:

… That morning, the wife had come into my room with her portmanteau in her hand, and an opened letter tucked into the belt of her skirt, and I could see it was an army envelope. ‘Sorry for opening this,’ she said, being not in the least sorry.

She held the envelope over the counterpane of the bed, upended it, and three little cloth squares fell out directly. The letter floated down a moment later. Well, the pieces were diamond-shaped rather than square, and I showed the wife how they would fix onto a tunic sleeve.

‘Captain Stringer,’ she said, and she stood back, marvelling at me.

‘A field commission,’ I said, ‘they’re pretty rare.’

‘As an officer,’ said the wife, ‘if you came into the soldiers’ buffet at the station and had cakes with your tea on a Sunday afternoon, you’d have the silver service.’

What makes Martin’s Jim Stringer so readable is the obsessional detail: umbrellas seem to feature regularly, along with the weather. Here, for another passing sample, is the start of Part Two (Chapter Nine) of The Last Train to Scarborough:

The North End shed, a quarter mile beyond the station mouth, was where the Scarborough engines were stabled. I felt a prop­er fool, approaching the Shed Superintendent’s office with my kit bag, just as I had in the days when I’d been working with a company rule book in my inside pocket, and not as some species of actor…

I wore my great-coat on top of my second best suit. I had on a white shirt and white necker, and I carried in my kit bag a change of shirt and a tie in case the boarding house should turn out to be a more than averagely respectable one. I carried no rule book, but on my suit-coat lapel I’d pinned the com­pany badge, this being the North Eastern Railway crest about one inch across. All company employees were given one on joining, and the keener sorts would wear it every day. You’d be more likely to see a driver or a fireman wearing his badge than a booking office clerk because the footplate lads took more pride in their work.

Now we have The Baghdad Railway Club, and it’s 1917 …

… and this weekend Malcolm has something better to do than this Jubilee thing.

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Filed under reading, Literature, History, Yorkshire, Ben Aaronovitch, Andrew Martin

Err … maybe?

If just 50% vote, and it’s 60% yes/40% no, that’s decisive … but hardly affirmative.

And that’s Ireland still in the €-zone today, folks.

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Filed under EU referendum, Ireland, Irish politics

Words are never idle

It all started a long time ago.  Malcolm would run through the church-yard, over the fences and  across the Marsh for the morning train from “Wells-on-Sea” (there’s a story there, in itself). Then, hauled by a D16 Claud Hamilton locomotive, it was on to Fakenham and its former grammar school. So much romance, already …

These images are from King’s Lynn, but the sentiments are correct:

From that time Malcolm recalls a quick-fire exchange borrowed from a radio comedy show, being rehearsed in one of those slam-door, and generally corridor-less (and so blessedly unsupervised) compartments. Could the source have been The Goon Show?

— That’s blackmail!
— Blackmail is a dirty word.
— OK, call it “ipecacuanha”. That’s ipecacuanha!
— Ipecacuanha is a dirty word.

Emetic knowledge

As a result came this life-long fascination with words, and an ability to spell some of them — including “ipecacuanha” — with reasonable felicity. You, who shared that compartment, you know who you are. It’s all your fault.

The all-knowing OED informs us that ipecacuanha (practice makes perfect!) is:

The root of Cephaëlis ipecacuanha, N.O. Cinchonaceæ, a South American small shrubby plant, which possesses emetic, diaphoretic, and purgative properties; also popularly applied to various forms in which the drug is employed.

That we all knew, didn’t we? There are two things, at least, here Malcolm admits he didn’t know:

  • there is bastard ipecacuanha (Asclepias curassavica) — which presumably makes an even dirtier term, but would do nicely in the British greenhouse;

and

  • again from the OED, the etymology of ipecacuanha (more practice, more perfect) is Portuguese ipecacuanha from Tupi-Guarani ipe-kaa-guéne.

According to Cavalcanti, cited by Skeat Trans. Philol. Soc. 1885, 91, the meaning of ipe-kaa-guene is ‘low or creeping plant causing vomit’. The word is said to be a descriptive appellation applied to several medicinal plants, the proper name of the Cephaëlis, which produces the ipecacuanha of commerce, being poaya.

Well, the Portuguese bit is straightforward, but “Tupi-Guarani” pushes the envelope. That brush with wikipedia helps; and Malcolm discovers this family of South American languages also gives us  jaguartapiocajacarandaanhingacarioca, and capoeira.

Enough of this!

Indeed. Well, there’s another becoming-dirtier-by-the-eruption word — this time of central American origin — on today’s news-page:

Mexico’s Popocatepetl Volcano has blasted a tower of ash over nearby towns and villages prompting authorities to consider the possibility of evacuations.

Popocatepetl sits roughly halfway between Mexico City and the city of Puebla, meaning some 25 million people live within a 90-km (60-mile) radius of the volcano.

Wikipedia, being prissy, insists the spelling properly should be Popocatépetl, adding:

The name Popocatépetl comes from the Nahuatl words popōca ’it smokes’ and tepētl ’mountain’, meaning Smoking Mountain.

This is getting silly

Put up with Malcolm a moment longer, for such words have an effect on a young mind. It went like this:

When I was but thirteen or so
I went into a golden land,
Chimborazo, Cotopaxi
Took me by the hand…

I walked in a great golden dream
To and fro from school —
Shining Popocatapetl
The dusty streets did rule.

And if you can stand the gross animation, the voice of W.J.Turner (even if his spelling isn’t) is apparently authentic:

Out of a dusty anthology, through a classroom window, the image becomes more authentic, more demanding, more addictive than any close reality. So long as it remains just an image …

It’s Istanbul, not Constantinople

When Malcolm flew to Istanbul those few days at the start of the month, the monuments — the Hagia Sophia, the Topkapi Palace, the Sultanahmet Mosque, the 336 pillars of the eery Basilica Cistern  — impressed.

Even so, there was underlying, lurking guilt. More mental images forever compromised by real experience.

It’s only a story, a fabulous tale

Blame it on a great guy, and formidable intellect called Ruarc Gahan, then Head of Sutton Park School, near Howth Head.

Summer of 1964-5,  Gahan and a small group of colleagues borrowed the school mini-bus to drive to Istanbul. After various alarums and excursions (mainly a couple of break-downs which involved close acquaintance with slivovitz and the like) they reached a score of kilometres short of Istanbul.

Legend has it that Ruarc pulled into the roadside, got out, sat on a rock and said:

“I can’t do it. It’ll destroy all my illusions.”

And they came all the way back.

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Filed under Dublin., fiction, History, leisure travel, Literature, Music, Norfolk, railways, reading, Wells-next-the-Sea

S-CIGM.

Fret not, patient reader, this will get all political, partisan and polemical in a paragraph or three.


However, Malcolm chooses to start in the choir stalls of St Nicholas Parish Church, Wells-next-the-Sea. Since St Nicholas spectacularly burned down, and was rebuilt in later Victorian times, it held no exotic distractions such as the Vienna Kunsthistorisches Museum’s Hugo van der Goes (above).

In St Nicholas, he half-attended to well-meaning sermons, and developed a taste for the rituals of the Church of England. That didn’t prevent him becoming progressively agnostic over the years. Since the Church of England, and to almost the same extent the Church of Ireland, makes no great demands on its adherents, there’s plenty of time and scope to reflect on ecclesiastical architecture, and the sinuous prose of the 1662 prayer book. And to half-attend to well-meant sermons.

Out of all that evolves a Self-Correcting Internalised Guilt Mechanism (hereinafter, and above, S-CIGM).

In extreme cases (and Malcolm is sociopathic) that also requires taking the faults of the wider world upon one’s self. The evils of the divisive capitalist society have to be confronted, and corrected by continued engagement with The Guardian and Tribune Magazine, as well as annual subscription to the Labour Party and CAMRA.

For the same reason, Malcolm each evening carried home with him personal guilt for his failures as an educator: that Tommy still couldn’t grasp the distinction of its and it’s; and Tracey, bewildered by the text of King Lear, asked “Can’t we just watch the video?”

On the other hand …

There are those at the other end of the scale, who missed out on S-CIGM. These know instinctively it is all someone else’s fault.

It’s all there In the beginning in Genesis 3, vv. 12-13. It was all her fault! It was all that damned snake’s fault!

Serial criminals lacking a S-CIGM can blame society: Well, you shouldn’t have left it lying around! and You should have stopped me earlier!

By definition politicians are serial criminals

The further to the political Right they are, the closer they come to [Godwin's Law alert!] the Eichmann Defence.

We need not look too far for examples. As here:

Cameron left ‘exposed’ by Cabinet Secretary

Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood has been blamed by close allies of David Cameron for failing to protect the Prime Minister from the pitfalls of creating the Leveson inquiry, according to reports. Mr Heywood has been accused of being too enthusiastic in advocating such an open inquiry.

More of that exculpation, lack of S-CIGM, serpentine seduction and passing-the-buck in today’s Times, it seems.

A cover up

Hugo van der Goes had the discreetly-positioned male hand, and the Iris flower.

A Malcolmian aside

Hold it just there:

The flower symbolism associated with the iris is faith, wisdom, cherished friendship, hope, valor, my compliments, promise in love, wisdomIrises were used in Mary Gardens. The blade-shaped foliage denotes the sorrows which ‘pierced her heart.’ The iris is the emblem of both France and Florence, Italy. The fleur-de-lis, one of the most well-known of all symbols, is derived from the shape of the iris flower. The fleur-de-lis is a symbol of the royal family in France and is the state flower of Tennessee.

Political figures, finding themselves over-exposed, have their equivalent of the hand and iris — those all-purpose, faceless-but-ever-helpful “Sources close to“. These are, presumably, Self-Correcting Externalised Guilt Mechanisms [S-CEGMs, perhaps]. In the spirit of “getting the retaliation in first”, they feature heavily elsewhere, as in the Daily Mail:

A blame game has started behind the door of Number 10 Downing Street over who thought it was a good idea to set up the Leveson Inquiry, it was claimed today.

Sources close to David Cameron say his most senior civil servant is being blamed for not protecting him from the firestorm caused by the probe, despite the Prime Minister setting it up so enthusiastically less than a year ago.

Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood has been branded not ‘cautious’ enough about the pitfalls of the Inquiry by Mr Cameron’s allies, which has since exposed how close he and his colleagues got to the Murdoch empire.

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Filed under Britain, British Left, Daily Mail, David Cameron, education, Fascists, Gender, Guardian, History, Jeremy Hunt, Labour Party, leftist politics., Leveson, Literature, Norfolk, politics, politicshome, schools, sleaze., Times, Tories., Wells-next-the-Sea