Which makes Kevin Connolly’s piece for the BBC all the more plangent.
The answer may be a lemon; but it’ll advise Malcolm’s choice of exotic fruits in the future.
1. Malcolm’s deck sports an olive tree. Much watering. No olives.
2. He even once grew a lemon tree from pips.
He felt very proud of that accomplishment.
It flowered, once.
He went away on holiday.
The automatic watering system failed, and the house-sitter wisely turned it off.
The lemon tree expired.
Sua culpa. Sua maxima culpa.