According to Stephen Green, leader of Christian Voice, there is a simple explanation for the infestation of mice which has forced Tesco’s Metro store in Covent Garden to close.
“Nothing has gone right for Tesco since they decided to support Gay Pride,” says Green. “Their only hope is to repent of that decision and put their trust in God.”
Green blames Tesco’s gift of £30,000 to London Gay Pride in November 2011 for the mouse infestation. He also says this has led to a drop in sales and profits, a poor performance over the Christmas period and a plummeting in share prices.
Some said this could be an April Fool’s Day joke but Ben Summerskill, chief executive of Stonewall, believes Green is not known for his levity.
“In comparison with years of famine, plagues of locusts and pillars of salt, the Good Lord can’t be very displeased if all he has arranged on this occasion is a minor infestation of mice at Tesco Metro in London WC2,” says Summerskill. “I’m a little surprised that Mr Green and an organisation that styles itself ‘Christian Voice’ doesn’t have other things to think about in Easter week.”
Green also claims that a shopper in Birmingham saw baby mice falling out of a crisp packet in Tesco’s Aston store. The mice have been multiplying speedily, so no one can say they are homosexual.
Nothing to do with numerous fooderies and street-vendors around Bedford Street, then.