After a whirlwind courtship and marriage, the happy couple climbed into the carriage (amid rice sprinkling on them) and the horse trotted off, taking them to their farm home from the church.
The horse carried then up and down the foothills towards their homestead. On a steep hill, the horse stumbled and caused the couple to be uncomfortably jolted in their seats.
The farmer calmly stopped the horse. Got off the wagon, he walked up to the horse, grabbed it by the harness, looked it in the eyes, and said in a loud voice, “That’s once”.
The farmer got back in the wagon and the horse plodded off. Again, they were going over a particularly difficult portion of the road when the horse stumbled and jolted the couple in the wagon.
The farmer again got out of the wagon, walked up to the horse, stared it in the eye, and said, “That’s twice”. The new wife was perplexed by all this; but did not even know how to begin to ask what he was doing. They travelled further down the road, and the horse stumbled a third time, jolting the couple.
The farmer got out of the wagon, went to the back of the wagon, took his gun, and promptly shot the horse in the head, leaving it lying in the middle of the road. Dead.
The new wife gaped in astonishment at her husband. she said, “What the hell did you do that for,
horses are very expensive, and how the hell do you expect me to get to the farm now? I cannot believe you did that!”
The farmer walked up to the wife, looked her in the eye and said, “That’s once”.
On which basis,
Unscramble the logic of this:
Ministers today announced a major U-turn on the controversial Legal Aid Bill by announcing amendments to make it easier for domestic violence victims to receive financial assistance.
Justice Secretary Ken Clarke told the House that women would receive legal aid if their ex-partners had received police cautions for violence against them, or if their GP had written a note on the subject. He said: “We have moved a lot on domestic violence.”
Seems to me, ol’ son, you need to kill the bitch first time. Or else …