Here’s one you may have missed …

ConHome reprints a self-puff by Eric Pickles — you know, the one who ate all the pies — enumerating all his Department’s magnificent and exclusively Tory attainments. Under any kind of scrutiny a few of the claims might even stand up.

Malcolm contributed to the adulation:

Do those “achievements” include the work of his SpAds? Westlake and Kenningham particularly. And now the totally-unnecessary smear on Prescott

To think I actually believed: “… we need to change, and we will change, the way we behave. I’m fed up with the Punch and Judy politics of Westminster, the name calling, backbiting, point scoring, finger pointing.”

Whether it was the ever-so-slightly sardonic second paragraph, or what, it seems to have been bought by the hard-boiled ConHomers — to the extent it is currently polling +5 on the approval ratings *.

Somehow, something wholly unrelated leaps to Malcolm’s mind:

A loathsome slug of a gangster, Jabba the Hutt was the preeminent kingpin of crime in the Outer Rim Territories. Basing his operations out of Tatooine, the Hutt had his pudgy fingers in a number of criminal activities — slavery, gunrunning, spice-smuggling, extortion and more.

A hefty Hutt, Jabba resembled a worm-like slug, with a legless, tapered body coated in slime. Jabba surrounded himself with some of the worst thugs in the galaxy, ensuring his protection with a screen of henchmen and hired guns. He lived in a palace out in the Tatooine deserts.

Jabba’s Pickles’ auto-eulogising couldn’t possibly, possibly have anything to do with an up-coming reshuffle (and the ever-upward mobility of his — err, any cloacal connection is entirely in the perception of the beholder — Number Two) could it?

* Later: down to +3. Clearly, as Mrs Tweedy noticed, the chickens suspect something.

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Filed under ConHome, Conservative family values, films, Tories.

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