Malcolm has never, ever, felt the urge to go skiing. In his advanced years he never will.
From time to time he may need to be assured this is a decent position to hold. As soon as an acquaintance turns up with a splint, a plastered limb, or even complaining of a “wrench”, he know he is quite right.
And then, catching up with a back issue of The Spectator, he finds Pippa Middleton (sister of the less-famed Duchess of Cambridge) showing us her Alpine Notebook:
I took comfort in my thermals. On the Haute Route, thermals are your best friends. You wear them day and night, for breakfast, lunch, supper and bed — the tighter, the better. Practicality becomes style. Of course, I spent hours each day debating whether to wear the bodyfit 200 Icebreaker crew or V neck, the Odlo breathable ‘ninja’ long johns or the 100 per cent merino wool onesie with rear flaps.
Oh, for heaven’s sake!