Anne Treneman doing the parliamentary sketch on yesterday’s PMQs:
Dave accused Ed of jumping on a political bandwagon. At the words “bandwagon”, some Tory MPs, who, like Pavlov’s dog, cannot control themselves, started to whoop. Michael Ellis, a strong contender for lickspittle of the year, actually pounded his feet on the ground.
The rest is good stuff. At least I feel that Ms Treneman was really there, unlike Quentin Letts in the Daily Mail who never fails to witness Cameron and his the big, swinging dick:
QUENTIN LETTS sees Cameron wipe the floor with Ed at PM’s Questions
By QUENTIN LETTS
Nice repetition there: hate to think this squit was a pale imposter’s:
An odd moment: on the squashed benches, as Nigel Adams (Con, Selby & Ainsty) was about to ask a question on coal mines, his local pit having just been closed. Mr Adams reached into what he thought was the right pocket of his suit jacket and, to his surprise, pulled out a packet of fags.
Turned out the MPs were packed so close to one another he had accidentally picked his neighbour’s pocket.
Oh, so droll! Oddly enough, I had found myself commenting on the several aching gaps of empty green leather toward the rear on the Tory side. Easter hols, y’know.
But, to stay with Ms Treneman.
The Pavlov tendency is strong among Tories. With good reason:
With the parliamentary expenses scandal fresh in the memory, it takes a bold politician to suggest rewarding politicians.
Step forward David Cameron, who has revived the parliamentary and political service honours committee.
There was a time when Tory MPs of a certain vintage could look forward to a knighthood, as ordinary workers would look forward to a long-service watch.
The Liberal Democrats, too, used to dispense political honours – failed parliamentary candidates could sometimes look forward to an OBE by way of consolation, although for many in politics public service is its own reward.
The new committee will also consider awards for members of the UK’s devolved assemblies …
Kudos then to Paul Flynn, who nailed it:
Paul Flynn, had another suggestion for those behind the new awards: “Did you consider if you were rewarding people who were the whips’ favourite, the order of the lickspittle or the order of the toadie, which would be appropriate?”
Take your pick, Michael Ellis.
Sad to say, Mr Ellis may not be with us for long. His majority is below 2,000. His seat, Northampton North, changes hands with each change of government. The strong Lib Dem vote (28% at the last outing), will be wilting next time — and will not naturally lean Tory either.
Which leaves one question:
Why do Tories insist on living up to the “stupid party” reputation?