Monthly Archives: May 2023

How we brought the Good News from Howarth to Keighley

… via Oxenhope.

Last Friday an outing. It’s the Flying Scotsman Festival on the Keighley and Worth Valley Railway.

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All for the ‘experience’. The Worth Valley line is a ‘heritage railway’ which doesn’t ‘go’ anywhere much. Its tourist attraction has to be between Keighley and Haworth, thus capitalising on the Brontë connection. 

Compared to when I first knew the area, it’s all squeaky-clean and bourgeoisifying: one almost apologises for the steam from locos. Anyway, a pleasant cruise through an up-market bit of West Yorkshire.

The excursion starts from Haworth, wanders up to 660 feet above mean sea level, a smigeon further, to Oxenhope (change to a bus if anyone wants Hebden Bridge), time to view the loco, then back through Howarth five miles to Keighley. More puffings, then back to complete the trip at Haworth.

All very nostalgic, and somewhat pointless, were it not for the authentic British Railways era coaching stock, the smells and whistles, the loco shovelling white steam over its shoulder (sorry that’s an LMS reference — but the Worth Valley line was an LMS acquisition from the Midland Railway), and the jointed track (hence ti-dum, ti-dum as one rolls along). Sure enough, I came home with authentic grit in an eye.

One of the joys of UK ‘period’ films is spotting where the railways actually are. So the Worth Valley line provides umpteen locations (it’s got a real tunnel — essential for The Railway Children). Similarly JK Rowling famously confused Kings Cross (Platform 9¾) and St Pancras (that astounding staircase in the Midland/Renaissance Hotel) — but the films reminded us how fine is the Mallaig Line and the Glenfinnan Viaduct. Enola Holmes favoured the Severn Valley Line.

Inevitably the day continued to a pub, the sun-soaked (well, on Friday at least) Old Sun Inn, now definitely recommended, including its Timothy Taylor’s Landlord, from the brewery we just passed, twice, on the train. Better than Browning’s narrator offering his horse, duly arrived in Aix, a dollop of wine.

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Quite frankly, my dear, I couldn’t give a damn

Obviously I’m insensitive. I saw Martin Rowson’s political cartoon, for the Guardian (29 April). Somehow I didn’t appreciate it was so grossly anti-semitic until all the usual wiseacres told me.

Hell’s teeth! Another Martin/Martyn and more racial/national slurs:

Screenshot 2023-05-09 at 13.57.25

Some you get away with. Some you don’t.

Martyn Turner is nearly as long in the tooth as I am: his cartoons in the Irish Times go back as far as my recollections, and my regular scrutiny of what was Major Knox‘s (now Ruadhán Mac Cormaic’s) organ. Except in those days, the clock was over D’Olier Street; and one would be bustled down the wooden stairs as the newsroom rushed to the Palace Bar.

Long may both man and organ thrive.

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Not the end of this business

Something like 110 hours after the polls closed, we had the last result of the English 2023 local elections. Across the country:

Screenshot 2023-05-09 at 12.46.32

As Oscar would phrase it:

One must have a heart of stone to read the death of UKIP without laughing.

A Redfellow aside:

That was originally in a letter from Oscar Wilde to Ada Leverson. She is worth looking up in her own right.

More to the point, in my teaching career there many moments when I, too, singularly failed fully to appreciate the pathos of the narrative: for two examples: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45370/morte-darthurthe scene at Cleopatra’s tomb (A&C, IV xv) and Bedivere scuttling repetively down to the middle mere.

Anyhoo, around noon today the oracle finally spoke. The very last Ward in 230 local Councils declared. It was Longbeck Ward in Redcar and Cleveland, and here is the declared result:

Screenshot 2023-05-09 at 12.31.02

And there, o best beloveds, lies a beautiful story.

One dimension is here:

Screenshot 2023-05-09 at 12.36.34

In other words, a bust-up in the local Tory Association. That’s only the headline.

Notice the two Conservative candidates who share a surname (and, indeed a marriage and a home). She is an out-gone councillor for the patch, the leader of the Tory Group no less. He is a bigger wheel, the region’s Police and Crime Commissioner (PCC). Almost every Tory in sight is somehow involved in or linked to the South Tees Development Corporation, the vehicle through which the Teesside Mayor (the tier which is above the five local suthories), seeks to redevelop the former steelworks site at Redcar.

What adds a further frisson is the none-too-distant (the next constituency along, in effect) shadow of Prime Minister Rish! Sunak, whose fairy godfather wand wished a Free Port on Teesside. About all this complex dealing, Private Eye, the Yorkshire Post and other disreputable muck-rakers are excavating and unearthing all kinds of whoops-ooh-nasty.

I’m a cynic: over my decades I’ve watched a succession of upwardly mobile shysters rise and fall. Teesside, the Development Corporation, the Free Port (not to forget Houchen’s other baby, the ‘International Airport‘) could be as big a regional dog-pile as the Poulson and T. Dan Smith scandals of the 1960s.

Watch and wait.

 

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Doing the sums

Rish! Sunak was head boy of Winchester School, and it shows.

He went on to Lincoln College, Oxford, and a PPE degree (PPE is Oxford’s equivalent of ‘General Studies’), and it shows.

From there to an MBA at Stanford, not quite a ‘proper’ acadmemic degree, and it shows.

Then Goldman Sacks, and advancement in hedge-funding, and it shows.

Earlier this year (17 April, to be precise) he came up with a real knee-trembler:

We’ve got to change this anti-maths mindset. We’ve got to start prizing numeracy for what it is  — a key skill every bit as essential as reading.

Double maths on a Friday afternoon, all the way to sixth form! Way to go, Rish!

And then, from a bit earlier, there are his New Year Resolutions, otherwise his five immediate priorities. or alternatively:

the five foundations I know can build a better, more secure, more prosperous future that this country deserves.

Oddly, double maths on a Friday afternoon did not deature. Number one, though, is and was:

  • We will halve inflation this year to ease the cost of living and give people financial security.

And it came, ready bullet-pointed, straight from a Goldman Sachs Powerpoint™ presentation.

The poor bloody infantry of lesser ministers, sent out to take the bullet-point at tv interviews, are still relying on that mantra. Like the unfortunate, rabbit-in-the-headlights, Lucy Frazer this very morning.

Therein, o best beloved, lies the problem.

For the Great British Unwashed are not as thick, as innumerate, as an Old Wykehamist might assume.

They know from experience, only too well, that the supermarket shop which last year cost £100 now runs, with inflation, to £120.

So Rish!’s resolution or priority or foundation means, in a further year’s time, the tab will amount to £132.

Thus Thursday’s local election results went so very badly for Rish! and his cohorts.

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C💩r💩nati💩n

Turned on TV in hope of some real news:

  • is there a wargoing on in the Sudan?
  • what’s happening in Ukraine?
  • were there local elections, only yesterday?
  • is Trump still at liberty?

Yeah: that kind of trivia.

Instead I went for the TV lunchtime news, just in time for the national anthem. In hope, I hung around on the off-chance we got the extra verse:

Lord, grant that Marshal Wade,
May by thy mighty aid
Victory bring.
May he sedition hush,
and like a torrent rush
Rebellious Scots to crush!
God save the King!

For some inexplicable reason it had once again been suppressed.

Still, onwards to the West Door, and upwards with Pomp and Circumstance. We have a family tradition: we overwrite the Land of Hope and Glory bit with our own:

We are working-class scum (repeat)
We are working class (repeat)
… So stick it up your erse …

Mary Poppins woukd agree:

In every job that must be done
There is an element of fun:
You find the fun and snap!
The job’s a game,

And every task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake,
A lark! A spree!

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Adlestrop, revisited

A long while back I blogged about Adlestrop:

Trains coming down the Evenlode Valley on the Cotswold Line no longer stop at Adlestrop. The station was closed in the mid-’60s. Even the memorial to Thomas’s poem, and the GWR seat to which it was fixed, now resides —or did at Malcolm’s last count—in a bus shelter. Before the railway, Jane Austen came visiting her mother’s cousin, the Rev. Thomas Leigh, at Adlestop House, then the local vicarage. Some suggest that Adlestrop is an original for Mansfield Park.

Many years ago, on a Western Region steam train, adolescent Malcolm also stopped at Adlestrop.

It was a bright, warm, English early-summer’s day. In homage, Malcolm lowered the window on one its leather strap to look out. The engine leaked steam. There was a bird, Malcolm hopes, at this distance in time, a blackbird, singing.

I see I even found an image of the bus shelter:

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Since 2017, it’s a ‘listed building’, entry number 1443893.

Pennan, in what we antiques call Banffshire but is now absorbed into Aberdeenshire, not only keeps its iconic red telephone box (as featured in Local Hero) but has one of the few working telephones left. It works because that’s what the tourists and trippers want. In reality, it’s not the one in the movie (that’s a prop, because the original was and is out-of-sight and less photogenic).

Sooner or later, by intrinsic value or by acquired connotations, all of Britain — nay, all of Europe — could be ‘listed’ and the country finally descend into Disneyfication and the gloom and decay of ‘heritage’.  Only last evening I caught the BBC’s Clive Myrie celebrating Matera, with the inevitable link to Bond and No Time to Die.

Out of this I draw connections:

I’ll take those in order.

Myth and reality

On a daily basis I see the iconic west end of York Minster. The two towers don’t match the central one: that’s because they are a later addition. Moreover, the Minster as a unit has been subject to repetitive rebuildings: the central tower was rebuilt in 1732-3 (there was formerly a wooden spire); the north-west tower blew down in 1751, which involved reconstructing the roof of the west end; major fires in 1154, 1829, 1840 and 1984. In other words, a construction in process and progress, continuing to the present day and an indefinite future. Lately, we have ‘Queen Elizabeth II Square’ (complete with promised statue) as a replacement for part of ‘Precentors’ Court’ — but also to ‘harden’ the area from possible terrorism.

By the way, Precentor’s Court largely factored in our removal to York. We had already sold our London house, and the calendar was clicking. I saw this 1720s premises advertised, and we came to view. It was a bit ricketty, and I was struck (literally) by the unused basement. I remarked to the estate-agent that it might convert to a kitchen and dining area. All it would need was dropping the floor a foot or so. Her horror was immediately evident: ‘You haven’t heard of the York Archaeological Trust, have you?’ Any such work in the historic centre of York requires detailed planning permissions, which would easily take a couple of years. Later I discovered the site was above the monks’ burial ground; so perhaps just as well.

Meanwhile I can never get used to the scrubbed up modern London: why is ‘Big Ben’ (OK, strictly now ‘the Elizabeth Tower’) not its proper Victorian-sooty self?

Legends

The GWR seat and station sign for ‘Adlestrop’ may be another icon, but the location went through serial renamings. It opened in 1853 as ‘Addlestrop and Stow Road’, was shortened to ‘Addlestrop’ a couple of decades on, and became ‘Adlestrop’ only in 1883. After the Beeching cuts, in the mid-1960s, it was no more.

With those changes of name, it came close to being another invented place on the network. I think of ‘Wells-on-Sea’, as was, between the railway opening in 1857, and the Urban District Council getting a grip  in the 1950s. Come to think of it, I’d need to check what my birth certificate calls the place, and whether it is properly hyphated.

Similarly, there’s ‘Eaglescliffe‘ which was ‘Eaglescliffe Junction’ with the arrival of the railway, though the spelling seems to come from the seventeenth century. It cannot alter the fact that the rest of the parish is ‘Egglescliffe’.

None of that can match the myths of King’s Cross: Boudica was supposed to be buried under platform 10. That one seems to originate with John Bagford in 1715, to explain the discovery of an elephant tusk (clearly, one from Claudius’ invasion) buried with a flint axe on the Gray’s Inn Road. Oh, it was so much easier when an ‘antiquary’ could get away with such a fantasy. Oh, wait on: JK Rowling went one better, transplanting ‘Platform 9¾’ from Euston to King’s Cross, and forever confusing the passing visitor. My great regret is the statue of Sir Nigel Gresley (certainly an improvement on the tacky thing at St Pancras, and the much-loved and hand-polished Paddington Bear), thanks to the gripes of his family lacking the mallard duck.

Preservation

No city stands still. Unless it is preserved (like Florence and elsewhere) in architectural aspic.

I recall an ‘expert’ reckoning the state of the economy could be gauged by counting the cranes around the horizon. Similarly, the progress of ‘bourgeoisification’ can be measured by the number of dumpsters/skips in the street.

So we arrive at a very personal gripe. My two neighbouring cottages have been ‘rescued’ and ‘upgraded’ since we moved in. That means four years of hammerings and aggravations, one of which is still continuing.

Now we also have major ‘renovations’ happening in the premises to our rear.

Help!

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There are promises and LibDem promises …

The City of York has a stuttering LibDem Council, notable for its generous pay-offs to defenestrated Senior Officers. And then I renewed my Library card and got this: Screenshot 2023-05-01 at 10.28.13 Wait a moment, there’s also this: Screenshot 2023-05-01 at 10.31.58

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